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this movie is nice

i waned to watch this film

it's good

i waned to watch this

i waned to watch this

i would like to watch

Hilltop Review Guy

SCORE: 23 % Trash Can

Initial Reaction: They made a sequel to this?

Main Characters

Kahuna: He's a grown up hero in a baby's body played by Leo, Myles and Gerry Fitzgerald.

Archie: He's Captain Courageous and is played by Michael and Max Iles.

Finkleman: He's Brain Boy and is played by Jordan and Jared Scheideman.

Alex: He's the Bounce Baby and is played by Joshua and Maxwell Lockheart

Rosita: She's the Cupid Girl and is played by Keana and Maia Bastidas

Bill Biscane: He's the head of a powerful media company and is played by Jon Voight.

Plot Summary

The story starts off with Archie, Finkleman, Alex and Rosita talking about a hero named Kahuna and how he saved babies from the German camps.

Bill Biscane shows up and launches a new television channel for kids that will sweep the world. But there's a hitch in his plan -- his henchmen lose a critical DVD to the babies (Archie Finkleman, Alex and Rosita). But the babies are saved from capture by Kahuna. Kahuna takes them to his hideout and shows them about.

That's where they discover a chamber that lets them become superheroes. They step into the chamber and think about what sort of superheroes they could become.

And then there's some side story about a guy and a girl who might be in love, then Kahuna gets captured.

Then there's a part where the other four babies get a recorded message from Kahuna that they the fate of all kids rests on their small shoulders and they should become the superheroes they imagined while in that chamber they discovered. If they do, then there's a chance that they can stop Biscane's evil plan.

Main Male Characters

Babies are cute to look at and listen to with their strange language, but they're not cute to look at when they're kicking bad guy butt or talking like adults. It's hard to believe they're that smart.

Bill Biscane is just your average bad guy out to rule the world. SCORE: 2

Supporting Cast

There are other adults in this film, but darn it, I can't remember a thing about them. SCORE: 3.


Reality check guys. How can someone brain wash everyone with television? How can a chamber turn babies into superheroes? How can any adult want to act in a movie where they get beaten up by babies? It's just terrible. SCORE: 1.


This is your standard superhero movie where the good guys are out to save the day -- if they were wearing diapers. SCORE: 3.

Violence Factor

There's a double standard here: Babies beat up on adults throughout the film without any fear of retaliation -- because if any adult hits any baby, it's child abuse and the producers of the film would get crucified by the parents and by the general public. SCORE: 2.

Other Moral Issues

Maybe there is one, but it got lost in all the action. SCORE: 3.

Final Score (out of 60): 14
% Score: 23%

Superbabies is super bad and is my choice for worst movie of this year so far. Everyone involved in making this film should be sent to bed without their supper.
Never see this movie at all!
In the beginning, it all just seemed like some beautiful, horrible dream...

It was nearly two years ago now that I first heard of the film that would become Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2. You see, Access Hollywood was on right before Survivor (and still probably is, though I've mostly given up on Survivor since it started sucking so royally) and I'd gotten into the habit of watching it so my blood could get good and angried. "THAT'S NOT FRIGGING NEWS," I'd scream at Pat O'Brien, deaf to my pleading to stop, "YOU SHOULD ALL BE SHOT AND KILLED!"

But it was Access Hollywood that first brought me into the world of Superbabies. They did a behind-the-scenes report on it, and interviewed star Scott Baio. The next morning, I had to convince myself that it wasn't a dream. Nobody would believe me that such a film could possibly exist. "Yeah, it's a sequel to Baby Geniuses, but this time the babies are superheroes, and Scott Baio's in it!"

Just look at that last sentence. It's crazy talk. I'm amazed I wasn't locked up.

Then, a good deal of time later, ads for Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 started appearing on billboards and on the sides of buses. This was no dream. This was real. And it was coming to theaters no less, not dumped to video inconspicuously where nobody would notice a desperate Oscar-winning actor (Jon Voight), a one-time next-big-thing (Vanessa Angel) and TV's "Chachie" cavorting with infants made to look like they have superpowers thanks to bad CGI.

How could such a thing be? How could such a cinematic monster possibly exist, much less be foisted upon hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting moviegoers?

Two words: David Paul.

These two words may not mean anything to you, nor should they. But David Paul is the producer of Superbabies. He's also the producer of the original Baby Geniuses, Anthony Michael Hall's directorial debut Hail Caesar, the Paul Rodriguez vehicle A Million to Juan, and his own ego projects, including the intolerable Slapstick of Another Kind (Jerry Lewis does sci-fi!) and the even more intolerable Eternity (Jon Voight does... er, eternity!). He got his "start" (after producing Falling in Love Again) at 17 directing Slapstick, a film financed by his family.

In other words, David Paul comes from a very, very rich family that can afford to make horrible, horrible movies that nobody would ever, ever want to see and have them get released.

In fact, he'd make a much better super-villain than Jon Voight in Superbabies, an incompetent German intent on taking over the world (probably) using hidden signals in an idiotic kid's TV program hosted by a poorly-made-up toad that he plans to introduce by showing it in the middle of a park, sponsored by a tiny day care center, run by Baio and Angel. All of this is just plan nonsensical and stupid, and I haven't even mentioned the damn Superbabies yet.

See, Voight's brother is a kid named Kahuna, who took some secret formula designed by their father and now doesn't age (he's actually in his 70's, thought he looks 8) and has super powers, a secret chamber and lots of gadgets that do things that don't make a damn bit of sense.

Yes, Kahuna. I don't know why either. I guess kids today love references to surf movies of the '60s.

So the toddler son of Baio and Angel, along with three other kids at the day care that don't seem to have parents, teams up with Kahuna, who, thanks to his weird science gizmos, manages to give them superpowers. There's Captain Courage, who is strong, Miss Cupid, who causes men to turn gay, Bouncing Boy, who makes DC Comics sue the filmmakers, and Brain Boy, who has the amazing ability to stand around and let other people kick bad guys in the crotch.

While the talking babies aren't as horrifyingly creepy as that of the first film (and nowhere near the nightmare-inducing blasphemy-against-all-that-is-right that was the dancing baby of "Ally McBeal"), there's still no effort to make the kids look like they're even coming close the emotions expressed in their dialogue. The "gags" basically consist of babies saying catch-phrases (only with the word "diaper" in there somewhere), though it's to the filmmaker's credit that there aren't that many poop and fart jokes.

Of course, when that filmmaker is Bob Clark, the once-respected man behind A Christmas Story, Black Christmas, Murder by Decree and Deathdream... ugh.

Just, ugh, Bob. Ugh. Still, I know you need a check.

To their credit, Baio and Angel only embarass themselves during the opening scene when they're forced to spew some awful expository dialogue. They leave that up to Voight, who forces out a performance that makes his role in Anaconda look restrained. The kids... well, none of the kids will probably ever be seen again. I mean, have you seen Jonathan Lipnicki lately? What the hell is up with him?

Sorry, getting distracted. Watching Superbabies has caused my brain to melt. Needless to say, unless you're under 9 (in I.Q. points, not age) or an undiscriminating pedophile, there's no reason ever to expose yourself to this. I knew about it, and that should have been enough for me, but noooooooo, I had to go prove that I could handle it.

I am such an idiot.
we had 17 children here for a birtday party and could not get them away from this movie they loved it
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