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Once Bitten 1985

A vampire Countess needs to drink the blood of a virgin in order to keep her eternal beauty. It seems that all is hopeless, until she bumps into Mark Kendall...

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Solar rating: 8.7


Imdb rating: 5.4

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:) This movie always puts a smile on my face. I used to watch this on VHS when I was little, Great movie! Bite them Buttons lol

I really need to learn to stop watching movies my wife picks out. I really can't remember the last good movie she picked, and the most horrible ones I have seen all year are all her movies. Because she is absolutely in love with Jim Carrey, she picked out this one, which was his first real big movie. Judging from this movie, it's a wonder he ever became the big star he has. The story is about a 300 year old vampire woman who must have the blood of a virgin before Halloween to keep her womanly beauty. I bet you can't guess who that virgin ends up being? Jim Carrey is having problems with his girlfriend, who wont give it up for him, so he goes with his two loser friends to a bar in Hollywood and meets the Countess. She actually tells him to call her Countess and he thinks nothing of it, mainly because her breasts are about to pop out of her dress. She takes him back to his place and bites him, but the movie unfortunately doesn't end there, because she has to bite him three times. So she lets him go, and just stalks him after that. He gets into stupid hijinx that any teenage vampire would get into, none of witch are actually funny, and then at the end he thwarts the old vampire witch's plans by boning his girlfriend and therefore not being a virgin anymore. She turns into an ugly old lady. The end.

Oh no, I spoiled the ending? So what, a goat could have guessed that ending a fourth of the way through the movie. You know how the story goes, so there is no reason to see this god-awful movie. The acting is terrible. Jim Carrey is however the best acting in the movie, but when compared to the others, Jar-Jar Binks would look good. There is not a single funny moment in the entire movie. I never laughed, and I'm pretty easy to make laugh. It's not funny, it's not dramatic, it's not scary... it's not anything. It's Saved by the Bell meets a wussy annoying version of Dracula.

Do not see this movie. If it comes on TV, and all the other channels are gone for some strange reason, and you have nothing else to do... do yourself a favor and occupy yourself by plucking hairs out of your eybrows one by one... it is much more entertaining than this movie.
Once Bitten (1985): 5/10

Once Bitten

Once Bitten (1985)

I loved this movie as a kid! This was one of Jim Carrey's first roles and it was a pretty good role. Those that have heard of it often trash it but it's one of those nostalgic 80s movies for me, even though I first saw it right after Carrey's star was rising after Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. For me it's the characters that make this movie so funny.
Starring: Laura Hutton, Jim Carrey, Karen Kopins, and Cleavon Little.
Directed by Howard Storm.
Written by David Hines, Jeffrey Hause, and Jonathan Roberts.
Rated PG-13 (for comic vampire violence, some sexuality/nudity and language).
Running time approximately 1 hour 34 minutes.

One of Jim Carrey's first movies, Once Bitten is an unfunny, lame and witless comedy about a vampire countess who wishes for high school student Carrey to be her loveslave. There are some scenes which are so embarassingly awful, I couldn't help but laugh. Still, this one's not at all enjoyable, and should remain on whatever shelf you happen across it. 1/2* (out of ****) D-
(* 1/2):

Pretty bad. It is not really that funny except for some moments that are so silly/stupid that I had to chuckle a bit.

Mark Kendall is a regular high school kid who has ambitions to lose his virginity. He has been going out with the same girl for four years and has yet to do the deed. Mark and his friends decide the best opportunity for them to lose their virginity is to take a road trip to Hollywood. They find themselves at a singles bar looking for a hot date. Mark grabs the attention of a hot blond at the bar. The blond takes Mark home, rips his clothes off, and then he passes out. Mark wakes up not as a new man, but as a vampire.

"Being a vampire in the 20th century is a nightmare."

Howard Storm, director of numerous television shows including Laverne & Shirley, Alf, Taxi, Full House, Major Dad, and Everyone Loves Raymond, delivers Once Bitten. The storyline for this film is fun and entertaining. The plot seemed like a typical 80's picture. Jim Carey was fun in this picture, but not over the top funny as we saw when his career fully blossomed.

"Are you a guy?"
"Does it matter?"

Mark noticing that he was the only person in the parking lot not having sex, the nightclub with the phones at the tables, Mark "losing his virginity," the juice box reference, the "freelance gynecologist" t-shirt, the De Niro versus Jerry Lewis look conversation, the "protection" sequence, the laundry mat pick-up attempts, the shower scene, the prison rape reference, and the 1-minute coffin pleasure were amongst the better portions of the film.

"Are you a prostitute?"
"I'll be whatever you want me to be."
"Good, because I only have five dollars."

Once Bitten was a childhood favorite of mine and my wife's. We both remembered this being a fun and entertaining film. It is still fun, but it is extremely dated and entrenched as an 80's film. There is not enough comedic content to make this a classic picture. The high school dance-off was a bit corny; however, Sebastian was a phenomenal character. The outfits were also atrocious; although, anything Lauren Hutton wore looked stunning and amazingly sophisticated for this film. I only recommend this film if you are a fan of the 80's; if not, stick with Fright Night.

"Right now, I'm as close to physical perfection as I can get."

Grade: C -
I found the movie to be funny, and its the simplicity of it that makes it funny. Would have loved to have seen a second version of this movie, with Lauren Hutton and Jim Carey, the ages they are now, with a repeat of the past, dunno, would be fun.
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