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Black Christmas
Starring: Katie Cassidy, Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert, Kristen Cloke, and Andrea Martin.
Written and Directed by Glen Morgan.
No MPAA rating (contains strong horror violence and gore, sexuality, nudity and language).
Running time approximately 1 hour 35 minutes.


She's torn, and he's sure gonna be! (My wittiness is shaky today.)


Robert Harmon's The Hitcher is a wonderful film with a brilliantly drawn villain. Dave Meyers' The Hitcher is a Michael Bay film. The difference? Well, nowadays, people want senseless violence. They prefer to not really get to know their villains because they feel it's more fun to simply watch young, beautiful people get mutilated. The Saw films are a great example of this (granted, Jigsaw does a lot of talking, but he is a dead cell...and he's badly-written anyway). Sean Bean really does try to give Rutger Hauer's legendary madman some substance, but he fails. There's also a really bad music choice in one scene. ACK! It was fun, but not good. ** (out of ****) C
I've seen the original 1986 version prior watching this wooden acting and despicable 2007 remake. The only thing new in this version is they switched the gender of the leading character. Nothing much creative- thought-process put in this modern college-preppy version. The shower scene was not even necessary to put it as part of the movie.Poorly acted(with an exception from Sean Bean),written, and directed. Another recycled trash of a remake. Only highlight of this film is the body streched and separated in half, & that's not even saying much.
Review: Hannibal Rising is another safe-sequel effort from those guys that brought you those other cannibalistic, mind-games; only this time the father of Lector himself is at the pen. But in a word, it's worthless, demeaning the infamous antagonist into a walking, flesh-eating clich
I don't understand, how in 2007, so many films can get away with having no plot. It's pathetic. It's the first thing you make up when you create a film. Who, Why, What, How, Where. Five simple questions. And they can't even stick to them. It's disgraceful.

And it's not even surprising just looking at the production company. They're called Platinum Dunes, but that's not the name I'm interested in. Michael Bay. That's the name. The legend that is Michael Bay. Michael 'Mediocre' Bay. Let's go through this again. Bad Boys, Bad Boys 2, Mission Impossible 3, Transformers, The Rock, Armageddon, Pearl HarboUr....Dave Meyers directs but he's no better. Only his second film.

The Hitcher is a remake of the 1973 film. Rather obviously, the film is about a hitchhiker, played by Sean Bean. The targets are Sophia Bush and Zachary Knighton, playing Grace and Jim respectively. They're going on a road trip from college, so Grace can introduce boyfriend Jim to her friends.

Along the way it starts to rain heavily, and they see a broken down car along the way. They elect not to stop, and decide to drive on and reach a gas station, where the hitcher turns up while they're there. Jim apologises for not stopping, and agrees to give him a lift.

But within three minutes of setting off, the Hitcher, apparently called John Ryder, breaks Jim's phone and threatens him at knife point, before together, Jim and Grace kick him out of the car and drive on. But he turns up again along the way, and gives them quite a few frights.

Here's my problem. Not once, in any part of the film, is it actually explained why he is doing what he's doing. As far as we're concerned, it's a random attack. But that is neither confirmed or denied at any point. At one point, Ryder answers to Jim's question of 'Why are you doing this?', 'You're a smart guy, you can work it out.'

So here's my question to Sean Bean. Why are you doing this? Not only in this rubbish but in life. You are one of the most talented actors to come out of the UK in the past 20 years. And what have you done with your career? You were in Goldeneye 12 years ago. A fantastic film. And you've not done a single good film since (not taking into account Lord of the Rings). Let's count them off. Outlaw, 1, The Hitcher, 2, Don't Say A Word, 3, Flightplan, 4, The Island, 5, Ronin, 6. I'm not even trying to think of them, they're just all the bad Sean Bean movies pouring out of my skull. This man needs something so badly to concentrate on. In not one of those films does he play a good man. He's always the villain. Even in Lord of the Rings he goes evil. This ridiculous Hollywood stereotype of evil British men has got to stop. It's destroying careers. Talented actors are not getting roles they deserve because of their accent. It's pathetic.

But on the other hand I pity Bean. He has not had the balls to take a stand against all the crummy crap he's being cast in. He needs to fire his agent, get a voice trainer, stick on a yankee accent and maybe then he'll get cast in roles that he deserves to play.

But back to The Hitcher (I never thought I'd say that). It's a completely ridiculous film. The blood shed and guts is completely pointless. It serves nothing to the film. It's violence for the sake of violence. It's pathetic.

The film will pass the 90 minutes or so it runs for, but you will not be watching it again, because it's just so bad. It's just another excuse for Sean Bean to wind down his career, and Sophia Bush to make further inroads towards becoming an A-Lister.

Having said that, Sophia Bush does have a lot of potential. She could be a fantastic actress. She's very convincing in John Tucker, The Hitcher, and her TV Series One Tree Hill. But all three parts have effectively the same character. I'd like to see her as something other than a 'slut' or girlfriend. I'd like to see her in an intelligent role, that requires brains and class. And she needs to get a new voice. Her whiney schoolgirl voice won't cut it in the big, bad world.

And that's the very best I can find about this dreadful excuse for a film. It's the birth of Sophia Bush, and the death of Sean Bean. I haven't even seen the original, but I can say with such confidence, GO AND SEE THAT!
the hitcher is a great remake and probably my third favourite horror remake. this is great and i love the special effects. the worst part was when the boy was crushed by the trucks
The Hitcher


The Hitcher
2007, 83mins, 15
Director: Dave Meyers
Cast includes: Sean Bean, Sophia Bush, Zachary Knighton, Neal McDonough, Kyle Davis

Another month, another remake. The Hitcher it would seem is June 2007's offering to the ever growing pool of Hollywood remakes, a set of films I rarely find myself enjoying. However in the last two Junes the remakes I have viewed, last years The Omen and 2005's Mr and Mrs. Smith are among the best in the ever growing category. So with a feeling that this run of decent June remakes could continue I headed to my theatre to see the new The Hitcher. Lets just say June redos don't score a hat-trick.
The original Hitcher was a powerful and often scary affair, made in 1986 by director Robert Harmon. It had it's flaws but thanks to the wonderfully dread filled atmosphere and two splendid performances from Rutger Hauer and C. Thomas Howell the problems seemed minor.
This remake follows the original closely (not quite as faithful as The Omen and Psycho remakes) with only a few tweaks in different sections. Instead of having just a single entity on the road this version gives us two, and it's Zachary Knighton and Sophia Bush on the way to Spring break. Driving in the heavy rain the pair nearly hit a man who's car has broken down by the road. After a brief debate and with the man heading for their stalled automobile the young pair decide to drive on. Later at a gas station they are introduced to the mysterious roadside entity, named John Ryder (Sean Bean) and needing a lift to a motel. In their guilt at laeving him behind before they decide to offer him a lift, however on the road he pulls a knife and after a brief struggle the two young travellers just manage to escape. However Ryder isn't finished and he begins to stalk them bringing carnage and death wherever he goes.
The main and most glaring problem with this new version is that instead of having a single victim of Ryder's sick mind, this time director Dave Meyers gives us two. I applaud the effort to escape the originals shadow but really in retrospect it was a poor choice. It was alot scarier when C. Thomas Howell's lone teen was being tricked and messed with, the fact that two entity's are on the road for the films duration simply lowers the tension and offers the audience a security the original didn't afford. It's also worth noting that in the original due to having more screen time Howell's victim was allowed to become a more rounded character, here niether Bush nor Knighton become more than good looking 2-D cut outs.
Sean Bean takes the role of Ryder with a firm grip, and whilst he can't meet Rutger Hauers levels of meance, he's still not a bloke I'd be inclined to pick up. For some reason despite being involved in more or less the exact same scenarios however it does feel that Hauer featured more in the original than Bean does here. That could possibly be down to the fact that Hauer left more of an impression, but Beans performance is good to making me wonder if Meyers has made some ponderous and ultimately poor choices in the editing suite.
The film does boast some great cinematography and set design, the open road shots are often eerie and occasionaly beautiful. Meyers is a music video director by trade, and his eyes for visual tricks and bangs are rather good. The inside of a sequence in a police station looks scary and yet very slick, an image the film chooses to stick with for the length of it's runtime.
This new version of The Hitcher also ups the blood and guts, showing alot more in the way of graphic images. The original had it's fair share of nasty shots (particularly a dog eating a corpse) but generally kept the results of Ryder's doings of camera. Here we get the full benifit of a slaughtered family and a higher body count, all up on the screen for you to see.
The choice of music ranges from inspired to god awful. Meyers ustilizes a decent score at times, but then chucks in a few pop tracks that just don't sit well with the films nature. The best example of this is in a sequence where during a full on car chase faeturing the police Ryder approaches from the rear, followed by some terrible bassy pop track.
At 84 minutes this remake is over 10 minutes shorter than the original and actually feels a bit slight come the end. Nothing really sticks in your head after the viewing, and even if it did the pacing is so fast you's probably barely remember it. Meyers races to get the story told in the quickest time possible (no bad thing generally) but in doing so he has left to many elements of the story undercooked something which an extra ten or fifteen minutes might have actually solved.
To be fair The Hitcher is fairly competently made and despite having alot of annoying glares is always watchable. The biggest problem the film faces is the fact it can't improve on the original in any field, and that unfortunatly is the kiss of death for redos. All the best remakes The Thing, Scarface, Dawn Of The Dead and last years The Omen all improved on the originals in some way or another. The Hitcher just can't achieve that feat and thus is rendered both pointless and more than a little unappealing for cinema goers who have to part with their hard earned cash to go see it.
Newbies to the story should get their kicks out of the film, and teens might find the rushed storyline suits their small attention spans but for everyone else the original remains the best version out there
I didn't realize that I had gotten so far behind.

I found Stomp the Yard surprisingly enjoyable. Perhaps it was my mood at the time, or maybe just because I secretly enjoy dancing movies. Whatever the reason, despite the predictable story and just average acting, I had a good time. The choreography is outstanding. It won't change your world, but this is a good afternoon distraction.

From director Takashi Miike ("Audition"), Ichi the Killer is a strange and often disgusting film. The story has rival Japanese gangs, and a sub-group bent on destroying one of the gang's pain-loving lunatic members. Ichi is just a quiet guy who has been trained to fight and kill because of some traumatic childhood memories. He's got some crazy moves (which my husband says are from the game Tekken). There's lots of torture and awkward sexual moments. I thought the end was a bit abrupt. But the main bad guy had an excellent iridescent suit during the final battle. Worth watching, but very strange and not for the squeamish.

Netflix kept recommending Cemetery Man, so I broke down and queue it up. Netflix describes it as a "droll send-up of 1950s drive-in horror flicks." And maybe I haven't seen enough of those because I just didn't get this film. Rupert Everett ("Stardust"), all young and hot by the way, stars as the caretaker of a cemetery where the dead keep coming back to life. So he and his helper are always rekilling and reburying the bodies. He falls in love with this woman and she's killed by zombies, but then he keeps meeting other women who look like her and falling for them too. Things get weirder and weirder and the movie goes on and on. I can't recommend it. But if anyone else has seen it and liked it, please let me know why.

Danny Boyle ("Millions")'s newest film, Sunshine, is amazing. We're not bothered with a lot of back story, we're just on the spaceship with the crew of the Icarus 2 as they try to reignite a dying sun. The visuals are beautiful and surreal, especially as the crew gets closer to their destination. All of the acting is solid, especially Chris Evans ("The Nanny Diaries") who I had only thought of as a pretty boy before seeing this film. The interactions between the crew seem very realistic, like they have really been on this ship for a very long time together. The philosophy is also very thought provoking. I can't wait to see this again.

I have not seen the original, but this remake of The Hitcher is terrible. Some kids pick up a hitchhiker and then he goes on a killing spree, terrorizing them across the state of New Mexico. What could easily have been a really creepy story is turned into a mess of ludicrous and improbable stunts and events. Sean Bean ("Outlaw") gives it his evil best and that is the only redeemable thing about this movie. Otherwise it's boring and annoying. Please avoid.
(* 1/2):

I find the original film to be one of the best horror/thriller films out there. This one is a basic remake with only a few different elements put in. And, I like that a remake tries some new things. But, this film just doesn't work. Bean is fine as the Hitcher but the film really isn't scary or tense for that matter. There is also a lack of surprises (since I've seen the original) and even at about 80 minutes long, it really felt like a long movie.


If you want a suspenseful scary movie, don't slow down by this movie; don't even pick it up. If you want a scary, suspenseful film, watch "Vacancy", a more superior film that actually has suspense. Other than that, STAY AWAY from this movie.
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