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Conan the Barbarian 1982

A vengeful barbarian warrior sets off to avenge his tribe and his parents whom were slain by an evil sorcerer and his warriors when he was a boy...

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Imdb rating: 6.9

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This one's more of an epic action/adventure movie thanks to these things:
-Arnold Schwarzenegger with his charismatic presence. He doesn't talk much but that doesn't matter.
-The combination of images and music. There isn't much dialogue in this one.
-James Earl Jones as villain. Come on, he was Darth Vader for christ's sake.

There's something in it that reminded me of Matrix Revolutions of all things.
Spoilers for Conan and Matrix Rev
The death scene of Conan's g/f reminded me of the death speech given by Trinity

I think it would be pretty pointless to make a third Conan movie if they can't get Arnold to start. Maybe it would be best if they started a similar franchise with a different main character.
I'm euphoric because I have the day off! Yea!!! I can goof around all I like

Anyway - lets talk Arnold. I am a big fan of his movies and most of them, especially the sci fi and blow em up movies are favorites that I can watch over and over. I am probably one of the few people that really loved his Conan movies particularly the first one. If you aren't a Conan fan then you might not like them much - it is a specific genre and not everyone enjoys the company of barbarians! I am a comic book fan from way back, I mean waaa-a-ay back. I thought the movie did justice to the comic book and the supporting cast were terrific. A totally enjoyable comic book ride. Terminator has become that classic of movies where the soundtrack is immediatly recognizable and people can spew quotes from it. Thats cult status! Predator and Total Recall are just plain fun with lots of explosions and non-stop action. The stories are what makes these movies fun. Lets not forget that eye candy - Sharon Stone! I also chose Red Heat and Commando because they are some of his earliest work and even tho Commando is kind-of a repeat role it was still enjoyable and action-packed. Red Heat has a great sidekick in Jim Belushi with some great wise-ass cracks (calling him Gumby) and the role was so different and interesting for Arnold. A good spy caper kind of movie.

Its too bad that Arnold has hung up his acting spurs in favor of that political grubbing, power hungry kind of life. I'm not real happy that he is already against gay marriage. Well, lets hope he can make some positive changes in spite of all that family baggage
Wow! Only Arnold can use his own quote from his own movie in an interview with the NYT:

Asked to describe his governing philosophy seven months after toppling Gray Davis in California's recall election, he said, "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women."

Awesome... Now let's see if he begins using quotes from Commando.

Entertaining, if in large part due to the fact that it is so bad. Terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE acting and really bad dialogue...but some of the fight scenes are pretty cool and the gore is just awesome.
I can't tell if the movie is meant tobe silly, or if it was just really kind of...I dunno...bad. Seems they through in excessive nudity just to keep guys in the theatre.
But it's really entertaining. Again, I thought some of the battles were pretty cool...and it's always great to here Arnie trying to string together a bunch of big words.
What do you get when you combine Arnie, Oliver Stone, James Earl Jones, tons of blood, painted up sword wielding hordes and snake gods?

Let noone forget the tree of woe and the three best things in life.

Conan was the own.
Comments pending.
Conan the Barbarian (1982)



HELL YEAH.

In my opinion, this is Schwarzenegger looking his best and acting his best. He truly IS a barbarian. The accent is perfect as is his acting ability (which IMO isn't much).

We all know the story...boys villiage is raped and plundered by Thulsa Doom and his ruthless gang of thugs. Boy is sold into slavery and grows up to be an Ultimate Fighting Championship killer...literally. He is freed by his owner and seeks to find and murder the man who killed his family. Along the way Conan meets another warrior and a woman he falls in love with. They all get a tip from a king whose daughter has been possessed by Thulsa Doom (played excellently by Vader himself, James Earl Jones) so off they go. Much blood is shed with heads being lobbed off, spearings, crucifixions, guttings...you get the picture. A barbarian movie!

The movie is now 23 years old but has not aged too bad over the years. I think the timeless quality of the story helps a lot. As does the very good special effects. Make sure you pick up the uncut DVD that was relesed several years ago. The sound specs on the disc stink (dolby mono) but the transfer and extras are decent. I wonder why there wasn't at least Dolby Digital 5.1 or better yet, DTS?

All in all, this is a movie that I will watch over and over as the years roll by. A time when Schwarzenegger was in his prime (or at least coming into it) and he didn't mind taking cool roles like this instead of the crap he has served us the past 5 years or so (minus the excellent T3).


CONAN THE BARBARIAN
(JOHN MILIUS, 1982)
R
2 HOUR 10 MINUTES
This is the sort of movie that people either like a lot or not much at all. I'm in the first group and still get a lift from the Basil Poledouris' heavy soundtrack. When the Anvil of Crom starts rumbling I feel an urge to go bash heads, or get a big sword and ride around on a horse. I get over it though and bash heads vicariously through Arnold and his badass little troupe in what is still a pretty bloody and violent movie.

Robert E. Howard was a crazy mutha and invented the Conan character in a paranoid delusional state. As near as anyone can figure Conan represented both his protector and the society that he was convinced was out to get him, since 'Conan' told him to sit down and write or he'd bash his head. Conan is a pretty good hero at that, but not invincible and often needs help to get out of tight spots. Frank Frazetta took the Conan character and created the stunning standalone and comic book visuals that most people know of as Conan. Schwarzenegger is a perfect match for the fantasy Conan.

Film connoisseurs often think Conan is junk and bikers, CRPG players and action film fans think Conan is movie goodness. I think it definitely can be with decent material to work with. Conan the Barbarian is Conan's beginnings and has some really excellent scenes. Conan/Arnold llifting his head as he pushes around the Wheel of Pain can get cheers, and what self-respecting fantasy-action fan doesn't thrill to Conan, Valeria and Subotai in warpaint crashing the Orgy Pit and making a big mess? It can get a little pretentious, but not enough that you can't ignore it and enjoy a few gratuitous female breasts and giant snake decapitations.

Although this is the first big role for Arnold and got recognition for him, it was the Terminator that propelled him to superstar status. It didn't help that the followup Conan the Destroyer was a much weaker movie. There's been some agreement by Arnold and Milius to film a final Conan movie, when Conan becomes a king by his own hand. Probably not while he's the Governator, but it'd be good to see Conan swing his sword around one more time.

I still have the 2000 release DVD with just a 2.0 soundtrack because there isn't anything better in Region 1. I put my system on DP II to squeeze a little simulated surround out of it. The video is OK but has some dirty print segments. Extras include a nice making of. The DVD is a 7/10.